guyslikeus EP14: celebrating milestones or why Euros throw the better parties

Marc Winter (00:13) Hello, and welcome to guys like us the podcast about existential questions and champagne problems. How are you Paul? Paul Fattinger (00:22) Good evening, I'm very well my friend. You know I just figured out I hear you better if I turn on my volume actually. So maybe it's not even your fault, maybe it's mine. Because I've just been giving Mark shit for the past five minutes that he can't even use the mic properly. yeah, maybe it was my fault all along. There's a reason why I am always the idiot of the week. Marc Winter (00:25) You- ⁓ that's fantastic. Yeah. No, this is a great metaphor. And then as it turns out, exactly. And he delivered with such confidence, his criticism. was just impossible for him to be wrong. Yeah, exactly. Well, you're looking good. So you're either dressed, like you're dressed in a white button down shirt. that could either, okay, excuse me, light blue. And yeah. Paul Fattinger (00:51) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is until I am. ⁓ It's blue actually. Mm, still lights. Marc Winter (01:11) So you could be either ⁓ coming from a consulting gig or coming from one of the topics that we're going to discuss today. So which is it? Paul Fattinger (01:21) Neither, actually. Actually, no. I was working today and I was interviewing someone, so I thought I put on a shirt. Marc Winter (01:24) Damn. okay. Highly professional. Good. Or from a party, which is the next thing. Yeah. So, because today we're to be talking about milestones and why they matter. But before we get to that, ⁓ who's sponsoring you today? Paul Fattinger (01:32) Nah, I thought so. Yeah. No, no, yeah, yeah. I am spon... I'm glad you're asking. I am sponsored with a really tiny glass, to be honest. Yeah, check it, right? It's a glass of red wine. ⁓ Of the Renner sisters at Zweigliedt in a typical Austrian red wine grape from Burgenland. solid choice that I might be cooking with also tomorrow, but it's actually quite drinkable. No, that would be very unfair. It's actually a very... Marc Winter (01:46) Shuck. The best kind. Paul Fattinger (02:10) Very nice. Very nice class of twiglet. And yourself? Marc Winter (02:13) Okay, I am going to, I'm just sipping on one of America's finest, just to Sam Adams, Boston lager. You know, it's fall. So you get the. Paul Fattinger (02:21) ⁓ man. Those were the first kind of like small breweries, about 25 years ago or something, or 30 years ago, long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marc Winter (02:32) Yeah, 35 long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. One of the first tickets going. I still respect it. It's funny. It's one of the few dear beers my dad could drink when he came to this country. He was like, you know, yeah. Paul Fattinger (02:45) Also, they've been around for much longer. Yeah, but I remember also when I lived in Ohio ages back, I was like, there is actually something else in Budweiser. Marc Winter (02:54) Yeah, yeah, and it's not offensive. It's like something you could stand by so Paul Fattinger (02:58) No, you guys have amazing beers, much better than we do in Austria. I that's not hard, though, but you do. It's not hard, but... Yeah, yeah, so, whatever. How's your weekend been? How are you doing, All good? Marc Winter (03:01) Yeah, that's not hard, you know, it's nice to hear an Austrian show that. ⁓ Good good. So so I have ⁓ officially firmly stepped into the year of 45 and that was done ⁓ In two ways ⁓ One which is the big rewind which which I'll which I'll talk about the week before I was with and my dear friend Thomas's 50th birthday in Athens, which is pretty epic and then you know went on from there really but then celebrated it with the kids and then you know what I did which I haven't done for a while which is I went to a live concert on Saturday and my wife took me there to see My Morning Jacket which is a great band, real classic American, around for 25 years at least and you know imagine amazing venue, the Brooklyn Paramount, it's probably the winner of the week and imagine like Paul Fattinger (03:45) Did you? Huh. Nice. Marc Winter (04:06) When was the last time you were at a concert like 20 feet away from a guitarist, you know, or the band just playing? Can you remember? Okay, fair. Okay. But that was just a small jazz, but like a rock concert, you know, like, what? Never in your life? Paul Fattinger (04:13) in the jazz club with you. Never. in how you describe it, no, never. 20 feet away from the guitarist, never. Marc Winter (04:26) ⁓ okay. This is something we need to correct my friend. anyway, this is a kind of a life affirming event where you just sit around, you're with your, my wife took me out, we were alone, we were just being kids again, rocking out and everyone was just vibing. The band was amazing. Just live, whatever you think of the music, which is good, like live, it's just artistry, really going for it. And I was like, okay, this is the energy. I need for my birthday. So it was a pretty fucking awesome night and the weather was great. What about you? How are you? Paul Fattinger (05:03) Man, I'm fine. I'm great. It's all good. I had a pretty very uneventful weekend, which was really nice, to be honest. Again, I to a soccer game of my son, which was great. He's kicking ass again. Sammi didn't score, but he had two unbelievable assists. Really nice guy has an eye. It's really cool. Marc Winter (05:11) Compared to that, fine. Did he score? That's when Paul starts dreaming. Maybe, maybe he's like, he's like, is he? Is he in the US? Is he he Javi? my God. Maybe. Paul Fattinger (05:31) And I think I watched, yeah, I really do. It's like I catch myself. It's like I'm living my life through my son's soccer career. Exactly, exactly. No, but I want to get it maybe when I get him into coaching. No, anyway, I already mapped his career out. Poor kid. Poor kid. How can you really, you know? all this self discovery and not following your ego anymore. You're just outsourcing to your son. I that's really cheap, right? I was like, I'm so zen. Like I'm just, you know, just so cheap. No, I don't have to reach anything. On the other hand, you're like fucking up your child's youth and child of amazing. No, I'm trying not. I'm very much aware. I'm trying not to do that. And I think I watched an entire Netflix series, the second part of the diplomat in one weekend, which was also quite because we Marc Winter (06:02) Yes. Huh? yeah, do recommend? A friend of mine's good friends with Kara Russell. ⁓ Good that she's, apparently she's awesome, really nice in person. So I'm glad. Paul Fattinger (06:26) Yeah, ⁓ I loved it. It was really cool. It was really nice. She's awesome, but also, don't know whoever this guy is, however this guy is called, is playing her husband. I think amazing. It's just such a fucking cool role. It's really cool. Yeah, I fun. I had fun doing that and that's it. And I was looking forward to us getting into a more regular recording routine and to finally launch our podcast really, really, really, which is hopefully not going lots of wood happening soon. Next week. Yeah, it's wood. Yeah, next week. Next week. Marc Winter (06:44) Fun! Okay. And here we are. Keep knocking on your head. It's working. Yeah. Good. Well, okay. So I called this one because I'm really, you know, I want to take you back with me ⁓ to a little over a week ago, where I, you know, was in Athens at my friend Thomas's 50th birthday and three nights in a row staying up till 430 in the morning. Paul Fattinger (07:05) We're glad to do it next week. Okay, anyways. Let's start. Yeah. Marc Winter (07:27) you know, chatting with friends, etc. Okay, look, I had ⁓ the US jet lag on my side, my advantage. So was just a, you know, before we get to it, too crazy. But still, you know, up to 430. Yeah, not bad. And you know, I was struck by the power of marking milestones, you know, whether it's your 50 or if it's or whether it's 45. And the the genius of it, and you know, Paul Fattinger (07:34) Okay, fair. Yeah. Marc Winter (07:58) how often we overlook the power of it ⁓ as both friends and as others. I you always have little birthday parties, et cetera. But you know, I think my friend Thomas basically designed a wedding for his 50th birthday party, which is pretty cool. Granted, he didn't have a wedding, so he put all his funds into his 50th. But that aside, the intention of it was really, ⁓ really struck kind of a chord in me and made me wanna talk a little bit about You know how do we do these things and why they matter and what if anything we should change about how we do them or which should stay the same? But before we go there. Paul Fattinger (08:39) I'm very curious on where you're going with this, I've told you this so I'm very open with soul bullshit so not mad. Marc Winter (08:46) Are you skeptical about my topic or your? Paul Fattinger (08:46) So I am, thank you, was looking for the word. I'm skeptical, but I I'm open like a clam, just a little bit. Marc Winter (08:53) Well, okay. my God, let me just force this thing open. let me actually, let me put it to you. So Paul, did you celebrate your 40th birthday party? Paul Fattinger (09:02) Mike, you know that. Yes, I did. Marc Winter (09:05) Yes, yes. And how did you celebrate? For those who did listen. ⁓ Paul Fattinger (09:07) I celebrated on an island in the Mediterranean and it was lots of fun. Yeah, it was also two-day party. It was also a little wedding, actually. Yeah. Marc Winter (09:19) Yeah. ⁓ It was a little wedding. Yeah, exactly. And is there anything that you would do differently about how that thing was structured? Genuinely, like, I mean, no, was exactly what you want to get out of it. Paul Fattinger (09:31) No. No. Yeah, basically, it's pretty good, I'd say. Marc Winter (09:38) So I agree, it was a lot of fun, but one tension I'm finding, which is really interesting, for a lot of these parties, which I've been to, a lot are becoming a lot more formal, a lot more celebratory, and I'm noticing that there's this interesting, let's call it big gesture kind of moment, and much more of a hearty tensions I thought was really interesting. for example, sit down dinners, sit down dinners, invitation, we rented out the restaurant, there are speeches that go these five, you know, five to seven speeches about how great the person is. Yeah, you know, they go on and, ⁓ I blacked out during the rest, so I forgot. Paul Fattinger (10:07) Describe FORMAL in that context. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had all of those actually. Not many speeches, no speeches I think, no speeches, but a video. A video, yeah exactly, there was a video and there was sit down dinner, which I insisted on. I don't, but that's an interesting one actually. would be, yeah, that there is this, yeah, okay, keep on going. That's the formal piece of it, I understand that. Yeah. Marc Winter (10:35) You did have a video which we contributed to. Yeah. the crime is starting to open up, right? So there's the formality piece of it. Then, then, then the Paul Fattinger (10:55) I need to open up, otherwise we'll sit here and I said, it's all bullshit that you're saying. And this thing is over in 12 minutes. We're in minute 11. So it's like. So yeah, mean, okay. And what's the big gesture is the speeches and stuff or. Marc Winter (11:09) Yeah, the big speeches and that kind of thing. And very often, you can go big with the location, et cetera. But actually, I think it's more about the speeches and everyone comes up and says, how great you are, et cetera, da da da. Then I also noticed that there's another kind of tension, which is around what's called the achievement versus appreciation type tension. That is, you can celebrate all the great things that you've done as a human being or celebrate who you've become. ⁓ I found that also be kind of really an interesting one. you know, the more I go to these, I've been invited to a lot of them. You know, it's interesting to figure out like, what is actually the right way to kind of mark this? And then of course, there's do you invite your whole family, everyone who's ever been around you, or do you keep it exclusive to some of the great friends that you've done, you know? And I thought I would just open up the floor to riff a little bit with you to talk about kind of your... Ideal you thrown one of these, you've got another one coming up. ⁓ You know, when you think about ⁓ Paul at this moment and what he wants to do, is he more about a big grand gesture kind of guy? Is he more of an intimate kind of guy? Which one is he? Paul Fattinger (12:23) Can I just take a step back? And ask you maybe, you know, a bit of a provocative one, but, you know, why do we actually celebrate those milestones? And isn't that kind of stupid actually? And it's like, or isn't it just an excuse? And yeah. So what's your, what's your prepared answer for this? Marc Winter (12:37) knew you were going to ask that. I knew you were going to ask that. So I think, and here's my bias ⁓ answer, I think people will travel all over the world for you usually for two moments, the moment you get married and the moment you die. And you get to be one of those. ⁓ good, he's nodding. And then you can manufacture other versions, right, for people to go around and actually come in and join with you, et cetera. But. Paul Fattinger (13:11) Yeah. Marc Winter (13:14) And that's kind of what this is. think it's a manufacturing of of convenings, right? You give it just enough importance, right? For people to want to make that trip and get the babysitter stuff. And I think that to me is ⁓ it's a trend I kind of wanted to discuss because I actually think it's increasingly important, you know, and to bring it home to, you know, guys like us who are both career driven. Paul Fattinger (13:25) Yeah, I mean, because that's what it is. Yeah. Marc Winter (13:42) families to manage where it's so easy just to put all this shit off and just do the small thing, you know, like throwing milestones like this to me feels actually kind of critical and important. or honoring milestones, I should say. Paul Fattinger (13:56) But that's what I mean. Is it really because you honor the milestone? great. You didn't die before 45. Congrats. Puhah. Or is it, as you just said before, just an excuse and as a fair excuse to actually get the people you love to a place and spend time with? Marc Winter (14:15) I think it's the water. Listen, some feel like and there's an old school part, right? Where, you know, you have it is a milestone to honor probably when when death rates were high and and you know, blah, about 100 years ago, you know, that's a thing to do versus what I think is increasingly happening is like, look, let's let me take advantage of the opportunity to bring the closest I have together and let me invest in the opportunities so they actually come. Paul Fattinger (14:49) Yeah, I think that's kind of weird. I was also a bit irritated by when you said, you know, rather celebrating what you have become than what you have achieved, because I don't think I've ever been on a birthday party. Well, it's not true, actually. Maybe older. But have you been recently on a birthday party where anyone or somebody celebrated what they had achieved in the past? Marc Winter (15:13) I think the speeches were talking mostly about what they had achieved versus who they were. You were this great kind of guy. Paul Fattinger (15:18) Yeah, yeah. And I was just thinking about my parents' 60th birthday 10 years ago and I had actually written a speech and it was a lot about what they had achieved. It's true. Yeah, that is true. So, and I mean, now to kind of backpedal again in my usual way, mean, fair enough, we do celebrate birthdays for whatever reason. And let's take this as granted. And we only have those... Marc Winter (15:29) versus, yeah, versus versus what they are. Paul Fattinger (15:43) In Germany we say Runde Geburtstag, round birthdays, that your 20s and 30s and 40s, as we know, not that many times in your adult life, six, seven, eight, maybe when you're lucky. So it's fair. It's a good excuse. It's a very good excuse. It's a very good excuse and a bit of a moment to reflect, I guess, also and to look back in all of this and then also celebrate. Marc Winter (15:53) Yeah. Yeah, totally. I think kind of where what I what I was struck by, you know, what my friend Thomas did in Athens, which is sweet, I think was first of all, I mean, it was very clear that it was meaningful for him to go that that we attended that it was a he was investing in it, you know, he wasn't just a house party, but you know, he really wanted to make sure that if you made the trip, you know, it's we're gonna make it special for you, etc. But ultimately, the through line was connecting friends from all over the world that made it great. And I think those kinds of milestones, for those who've lived in so many places, that always adds a little bit of an extra sparkle. Paul Fattinger (16:46) Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I hear you. But I have a question. If that had been his 49th birthday or no birthday at all, and also not a wedding or any other event that in our culture we tend to celebrate with big parties, gestures, speeches and whatnot. And he had just said, guys, I'm throwing something serious. I want to connect, you know, friends from all over the world. Come to Athens that October weekend. We're going to do XYZ. Would it have been the same? Marc Winter (17:29) Well, I think you're talking about, ⁓ would it have been the same? It might've even been better. And the reason why, because it would have shed any notion of tradition. And I think people would have just been excited to make a trip at someone's behest for the fuck of it. You know what I mean? Paul Fattinger (17:50) But you think people would have come? Like you think that would have worked? Marc Winter (17:54) I think he would have had 40 % drop off rate just because of how people are wired. Yeah, I just think you know, I think people we we you said it in a way I mean, people ascribe meaning to these things. You know, I ascribe meaning to these things. I think you know, I said, well, yes, it's just age is just a number but it just makes you just pause at least for a little bit and reflect a little bit you know how many rounds Paul Fattinger (17:59) Really? You think so? Marc Winter (18:21) rounds around the sun you've made. But I think we're, let's put it this way, I'm waiting for the invitation because I always said if I had a few extra zeros in my bank account, that's pretty much how I would spend these six months of the year. Inviting great friends. Paul Fattinger (18:36) You know, the reason why I said in the beginning I was skeptical is because I'm like, importance of celebrating those milestones, I am not sure. I think it's important to meet your friends and it's great to use this as an excuse. And if you were born somewhere else in the world, you will probably invite them because the moon had a special color in that year. I don't know what the fuck. Something. Okay. You know what I mean? So I mean, for us to... Marc Winter (19:03) Yeah, keep going. Paul Fattinger (19:04) That's kind of where I'm coming from. I think there's two sides to it. One is great for you to reflect upon your age and you're 45 and somehow this can be divided by five. So you need to reflect now. In shamanic tradition, you would think of that every seven years. And that's how they say, how life changes. what then we actually saying is that milestones are completely arbitrary. It's important to A, meet your friends. Marc Winter (19:23) Right, right, right. Paul Fattinger (19:34) regularly and maybe you make it so that all of your friends can come together, you know, once in a while and be to reflect. And I say, boo-ha. Yeah, of course it is. Fuck the milestones. So that's kind of my, so that's my counter argument to your thingy there. Marc Winter (19:43) Yeah, I actually, yeah, sure. yeah, but I think, but well, fair, but I think fine. But I think we live in a world of milestones. That's nice. But most people are wired to celebrate them, right? And I think like, you know, while I, yeah, well, it's a bit of, I mean, it's kind of true, right? I mean, it's. Paul Fattinger (19:58) You live in the work of Hallmark. Sponsor this episode is brought to you by Hallmark. There is a gift card for everything even Marks Milestone Marc Winter (20:07) Well, yeah, exactly. I'm not even going to ask you what I that car to look like. But, you know, listen. Paul Fattinger (20:14) Hahaha. Marc Winter (20:15) I think I love that you're rejecting the premise of this. And I think actually as always, as we find our way to this thing, ⁓ I feel like because we live in a world where people have decided, our societies decide that these things are important. And, you know, we can dismiss that and say, yeah, okay, that like, they're not important in the way that you're telling me they are. However, we should leverage or harness the power that they exist to bring the people that we are together. And also, think honestly, the question is, what do do once you do that with them? You know, that's also really special. Paul Fattinger (20:50) And that's totally fair. now let me step off that, know, cynicism wagon that I'm on. there is a, no, but there is a point. mean, and I'm going to stay on that point. think there is, because I don't think, I think as soon as you do something, because that's the way you do things, right? Then you're most likely kind of on the wrong path. Right? I mean, that's maybe when it gets too formal, when it's not authentic anymore. Marc Winter (20:57) Yeah, please. Paul Fattinger (21:20) and it would be awesome if there were more, let's just meet up and do shit, but it's somehow doesn't fit in our lives because we have so many 40th and 15th and 45th and 35th birthday to go to. Right. That's why, you know, where do you start? So, and then you said it with the way you say it before to leverage those, those milestones in order to get together and do something is awesome. And it reminds me. And after my wedding, which was an epic one, ⁓ and our wedding was an epic one. We were saying, okay, so what's the next thing we're going to make up for as a milestone to do this again? And in the end, was my 40th birthday then. ⁓ Marc Winter (21:56) That's right. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Which was still seven years in between, roughly, right? When did you get married? At 33? Paul Fattinger (22:04) which was seven years in between, but you're right. mean, how do you get people to somewhere and where do you get them together? And I mean, I guess this is all you wanted to talk about, know, kind of what are the or parts of the logistics and how do you do that? Right. Marc Winter (22:18) Well, a bit of that and also just to recognize like it's an underutilized tool, you know, like a lot of what we've been the spirit of this podcast has been about bringing friends together. It's been about like the sanctity of time and blah, blah, blah. And I feel like, you know, here's something very clearly in your, in your toolkit, you know, as you think about it, which by the way, in, in, in for people with very, very busy lives. ⁓ Like I think you and I think we have it's a harder thing to do and to commit to you know, and this is it's another thing and I'm realizing, you know coming off this lovely ⁓ Birthday party. I felt like gosh, you know, like that's something that's totally worth it and it's worth the time and effort 60 Paul Fattinger (23:04) How many people were there? Okay, let's get, okay, and now we can go in the winter. Let's continue this discussion. How do you properly celebrate things? Maybe not only milestones, but things then I'm all ears. Now we're talking about parties. So this is actually an episode about parties. know, Mike just wanted to sound smart and he said it's about celebrating milestones. But really, you know, this guys is an episode about parties. Since I'm doing all the uploading, I'm going to name this. Marc Winter (23:13) Mm. Okay. Sorry, sorry. Paul Fattinger (23:35) The episode on pot is AKA milestones. Marc Winter (23:35) Okay, since I look I opened up by declaring I went to bed at 433 nights in a row and you're wondering whether or it was about parties. Okay. Paul Fattinger (23:45) Here we go. Okay, good. I'm glad in minute 25 we've established this. Marc Winter (23:49) Wonderful. OK, so let's talk about the design thematically. Paul Fattinger (23:52) So how do you party ride, Okay, I'll stop. Go ahead. Marc Winter (23:57) ⁓ No, go for it. So do you think about okay, there's the ⁓ Okay, you're mid 40s right now. So there's the still young, you still got it right versus sort of like the running out of time kind of tension. And by that, I mean, it's like, you know, do you do design? ⁓ Like, I'm back in Barcelona in those days. hanging out in the clubs? Or is it more like relaxed with like wine and, you know, casual conversation in a band? Paul Fattinger (24:29) Can I give you, I'll give you some, let me turn this around. I'm not ready to answer this question, but I'll just give you an example of some recent birthday, round birthday parties I've been to or I've heard of. So actually on the weekend, I was on a 35th birthday party. A couple turned 35 and they said it's a 70s party. So everyone had to, so it was a theme thing. So everyone became dressed in 70s clothes. Marc Winter (24:56) because 35 and 35 is 70. Paul Fattinger (24:59) Yes, Mark. Yes, exactly. ⁓ It it, you know, they had they had an asterisk in a note for people that, you know, have a math weakness like you. Exactly. Exactly. I didn't I actually then ⁓ I didn't I didn't read the thing, so I didn't really get the memo. So basically, I should have been that short. But I also thought I am the closest to the 70s that that party will ever see. So. Marc Winter (25:09) Addition problem exactly. So you showed up in that shirt. Paul Fattinger (25:28) I thought about just putting a minus two on my shirt saying, you if I wasn't, you know, two years older or plus two, I would be in his point of seventies. And so that's one part of super fun life music. Really fun. Maybe let's take another one. My 40th birthday in Ibiza. I don't know what we had 50, 60, 70 people. Two nights was fun. And then a friend of mine told me the other day he was at the 50th birthday last year on a yacht in Norway in winter. where they were like, I don't know how many guys and maybe also with their wives and they went from this sailing yacht. They took dinghies to the mountains and then started walking up the mountains on skis and then skiing them down. That's also way hard to celebrate a 50th birthday. So which one would you pick, Mark? Door one, two or three? Marc Winter (26:18) Number three, obviously. Oh, God. Paul Fattinger (26:20) Me too. You couldn't ski, that's your problem. You would sit on the boat and cook probably. ⁓ no, I'm fucking with you. no, yeah. ⁓ Marc Winter (26:31) No, it's fine. Keep going. actually think Europeans, you know what the thing is? know what? Euros just know how to party. I actually think this is the difference. I think, I really think, you know, if I were to compare an American party to a European, that's, this is... Paul Fattinger (26:45) I think that's the main... this is a cultural misunderstanding. I don't know what you're talking about, because it's so very clear to me all of this. What's the discussion? Marc Winter (26:53) Yeah, I think you guys just know how to go full on. Yeah, exactly. And I go to a of these American parties. They're awful. They're boring. okay, so I went to I went I went to a 50th birthday party, right. And it was at a Japanese restaurant, very high end, very posh, know, you sit around there. And you know, the food's of course, great. They're serving sake from some sort of list. And you're thinking, okay, this is cool. You're lucky if you talk to the two to three people, you know, ⁓ Paul Fattinger (26:59) Yeah, tell me about a typical American 45th or 50th or 40th person. Yeah. Mm. Marc Winter (27:22) around you. There's everything that's done with the some restraint, you know, and then there'll be a few speeches that go on and on and on. And then afterwards, like, here's the saddest thing in the world, right? Someone puts on like a disco white. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And like, like two to three people dance and you're like, that's, that was like, oh my god, and everyone's like, yeah, that was a great party. I was like, that was fucking awful, right? No, no. And Paul Fattinger (27:37) I'm about to fall asleep or cry. I don't know yet what. Yeah, yeah, go ahead. not a party that's that's that was the that was the night before the party that's how to get to know each other you know Marc Winter (27:51) Yeah, a juice. Yeah, it's yeah, but you don't even get to know anyone because it's a seated dinner. You're just sitting there, right? So it's not even casual. You can't go up and introduce yourself to people. that's sort of generosity of spirit sort of didn't exist. And I mean, I can go I can name these like over and over again, like how many times have been forced to sit down through dinner, like with through the speeches, no one really cutting loose. And yeah, it's great that you meet some people who've come come from far away and you get some nice introductions. But beyond that, it's not a party. It's not a celebration. And actually, now that I really think about it, all the insane ones I've been to have been in Europe. It's really crazy. If you were to ask me the best one I've been to. Paul Fattinger (28:36) I think one of the best ones, the two of us were, was Hansi's 40th birthday. To call you out there, Hans. Marc Winter (28:42) Yeah, that was also really good. That was intimate, but also that was awesome. Everyone was dancing. was a good time. Paul Fattinger (28:45) And I think that's one dimension, right? The level of intimacy, which meaning I need, you know, how many people do you have there? And what I really liked about this is one of, you know, our dearest friends lost in the desert, but still our dearest friend Hansi, who turned 40, ⁓ no, two years ago. And then he had his party at a place in Spain. And he invited, I think, was it 12 of his best friends plus partners, something like this. Yeah. 20, 25 people. Yeah. 24 people. And we spent two nights there, I think. Right. And just partied, had a beautiful dinner. I remember this, I mean, outside there and hang out, hung out by the pool, had beers. You talk to everyone though. thought it was, it was really, as you said, intimate. And I loved it. I loved it because it was just focused in a sense. Marc Winter (29:20) Yeah, 24, yeah. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (29:43) And on the opposite, when I think of my 40th birthday, I don't remember much, similar to a wedding, which when there so many people, I never speak to anyone properly, which is, part of me. I am part of this problem because I always have the feeling I need to speak to everyone. need to say hi to everyone, which kind of keeps me from really engaging in the situation. I have it quite vividly in my head. Marc Winter (30:03) Yeah. Paul Fattinger (30:10) that I would stand next to a conversation, listen to it and then kind of drop off because I would be like, no, I can't now step into this conversation. I would be stuck here for 20 minutes. I need to move on. and, and it, ends up in me talking to nobody other than the 10 people that then are kind of left at two o'clock in the morning that still want to go, which who I love, whoever ever did this and my parties, I love you guys. You're the best. mean, those are the best for then, you know, you know, Marc Winter (30:24) resonates. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (30:39) who has an alcohol problem or is really your friend or both. ⁓ So I would, you know, ⁓ kind of ⁓ answering this question that you didn't ask and I preempted is I would go for somehow of a medium size. I think 60 would be too much. I would rather if I chose to celebrate now. Marc Winter (30:39) Yeah, of course. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (31:05) I would go for somewhere between 30 and 40, I think maybe max. Because I would like, I'd like the intimate part. like, yeah, max. Yeah, yeah, okay. You know, but you get my things. I wouldn't do this the way I did my 50th, for example. Because in the end, sorry, my 40th, of course, because you know, in the end, it's beautiful. You have all these people there is a great show of friendship and love that, you know, people then travel for you as well. Marc Winter (31:11) Max dude, I think 30. Yeah, I think 30. For the SME. Paul Fattinger (31:32) But if you don't get to spend the time with them, which in my case I may because people had more time and also we spent some time together with other friends and you kind of break it off around the event, which makes it really nice. But the event then really comes across in that sense for more because you can't actually can't fully let go because it's an event thing too. It needs to work. You're worried about the food, everyone's happy, blah, blah, blah. Marc Winter (31:42) Yeah. So, dude, so here's my point of view, and maybe I'm landing the plane a little bit. no, cap your party at 30. Have live music and a good DJ so people dance. Do not invite your parents. No kids. Like, I'm just like, just to shortcut it, ⁓ Instead of going to... Paul Fattinger (32:12) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Marc Winter (32:22) Ha Paul Fattinger (32:22) I mean, I told you in the beginning, it's a two minute episode, but I'm just trying to make it a bit fun here. But okay, go ahead. Yeah. No, he's. Marc Winter (32:27) No, no, it is fun. No, no, no. Well, sorry, because I'm, you're playing your 40th and you're talking about our friend Hans's and there was a big difference between the two. I'm not saying I had a great time at your 40th. And I also want to acknowledge that ⁓ your ability to be present, right? You know, what you said is challenging for a lot of people. Not that you were there and we had great conversations, but like nonetheless, I mean, it's just a real thing. Paul Fattinger (32:37) Huge. Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. Marc Winter (32:56) And the other thing I'd say is like, you know, the and here's what I found to be the really interesting tension is that I find like, people in our age group, like don't want to don't want to, you know, aren't like too easily keep their foot out, put their foot on the brakes, you know, and you got to really push them to put their foot on the gas. So and the Paul Fattinger (33:22) That's why I have to take them out of their natural habitat. Marc Winter (33:24) Exactly. You cannot return home. there's no there's you can go to the hotel. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (33:27) Yes. Yes, no, For his birthday, I have one of my friends in Berlin. Booyah! Full on. Party hard. That's... Yes. Yes. Marc Winter (33:35) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's how it goes. Because then ⁓ there's no retreat and you seal off all the Paul Fattinger (33:44) Give me your phones. You should have like an emergency desk where all the phones are in case the babysitter calls. And then you have a person who kind of decides whether this is a matter worth, you know, transporting. And then someone enters the room and just very discreetly says, your kid peed the bed. And you can then decide, you know. Marc Winter (33:46) So yeah, exactly. Give me your phones. You know, you know, you it'd amazing. If you hired someone and you bought like a bunch of fake, you know, old phones off the market and you just hired someone like, you know, once your attendees joined the party, you're like, Hey, by the way, thank you for giving up your phones. And you know, you just pulled a prank and you hired some lady just to smash them with a hammer. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Throw them in the pool. Exactly. That would just be amazing. Paul Fattinger (34:28) Yeah, I just put them in the fire and they explode or something really like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be awesome. Yeah, but then the pool, you know, they work actually when you throw them in the pool. whatever. No, so I hear you. Yeah, I hear you. Because I think we all, I mean, we all have the dream, right, that finally at our party people then dance. Now everyone has this because we all remember as you asked before, right? I mean, we all want to feel like we felt in that club at 4 a.m. Marc Winter (34:35) Yeah, five, whatever, thank you for that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That's right. Paul Fattinger (35:02) 28 years old in Barcelona. You know, I hate to break it to you. Never going to feel like this again, unless, you know, there is some very special mix of substances that, you know, make you go there. Make you go there. You're 28 and you're in that club. it's exactly the It's it's exactly this imprinted on that pill. That's a great idea, by the way. ⁓ Marc Winter (35:14) That will convince you that you're a Actually, that should be the name of the substance, 28. ⁓ Yeah, yeah, exactly. Paul Fattinger (35:32) Yeah, it's like, let's put it on the list of things people should do and give us royalties. So that's not going to happen. But we want it to happen. Obviously, we want that. We want to feel like that again. But rarely that really works. There are so many things that need to align for this. You people need to be in the mood. The DJ needs to be great, which is easy. You need to have a space that is not too big, not too dark, not too light. Marc Winter (35:38) Give it Yeah. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (36:00) I think the solution in our age is day partying, to be very honest with you. Again, we've had this topic before, but I think not going too late. Marc Winter (36:03) Yeah, yeah, okay. Listen no way. Well, it's slightly different. Yeah, but I think living We living the old days I guess for your parties are fine, but you know It's the time to do it I think people are in it's funny at this Thomas's thing. I was I was thinking For sure. The locals were the first to leave. Sorry. Let's let's just prove ⁓ prove this These theories that yeah. Yeah. So the locals were the first to leave for sure ⁓ Paul Fattinger (36:28) Yeah, proof of theory for a while. Marc Winter (36:35) Those that flew the longest were like, the ones that like partied the hardest, you know, especially it was there for this. Yeah, I'm here. Let's just go. Yeah, exactly. Sleep when you're dead, you know, that kind of thing. and I think the, but it did go to, you know, to five, five 30 in the morning. And I think the, yeah, it's proper done. And I initially have it, like, I think the classic mistake of Paul Fattinger (36:39) Yeah, fuck, I'm here. Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah, it's like, yeah, of course, yeah. Wow. Probably had dinner at midnight doing Athens, no? Wasn't that bad? Yeah, but see, I mean, that's a solid effort. I commend that. That's a hats off effort. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Marc Winter (37:05) Yeah, yeah, like proper, like the decent DJ, decent DJ underneath, it took forever to get people to dance. But then when they did, it just then I think they got into it, you know. Well, so I thought I loved the music was awesome. But then you know, the DJ realized, okay, we have some people sorry, Thomas of a certain age group that you know, want to hear, like 80s that kind of stuff, you know, which is totally fine by me. And then you know, the dance floor fills up. And then when he throws in some banging, like minimal, Paul Fattinger (37:15) But what was it the music, right? It's the right music, it's the right song. Marc Winter (37:35) track, you know, it thins out again. Yeah. So you gotta, yeah. Singable. Yeah. ⁓ Paul Fattinger (37:37) Yeah, that doesn't work. No, no, have to, unfortunately, you have to go very mainstream. Singable, singable. Hymns, hymns. Yeah, but I'm fine with that. I don't give a shit. I never was. I'm not a snob like you at that. For that, you have to find, you know, you go to a club. In the end, it's also not about the music. I unless you have to dance to, I don't know, some Greek folklore, which might be fun too, but something you really hate. It's about being there and... Marc Winter (38:03) No, no, no, and the thing is... And the thing you need to close with, it doesn't matter what, is that you need to have a brunch the next day, which is basically a never ending lunch, the never ending lunch, know, exactly. Paul Fattinger (38:11) Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We can actually catch up with the people who didn't speak the night before. I think that's really important. I do think good food is... I was always very adamant about sit down because I hate it. I hate buffets. I really do. I think they're terrible thing. But if you had a standing thing... I could be convinced today, which is a new thing, of a standing kind of dinner. with excellent food. I'm not compromising with this. I hate shitty food. But it doesn't need to be sit down necessarily. know, just saying that. Marc Winter (38:40) Yeah, obviously, dude, no, no, Yes, dude, we know we know we know. You just get people's energy up and dancing like that's it any like the sit-down stuff and that's the thing well And this is what the Americans do they fill you up Get you a little drunk and then put you on your way you get home and you don't get to have a time for real interaction I think Paul Fattinger (38:50) Yeah. So first of all, don't go to a party in America. That's number one. That's the first lesson we learned today. Marc Winter (39:07) Who wants to come here anyway these days? But yeah, okay. Paul Fattinger (39:10) Yeah, yeah, I'd like to come back soon. thought exactly. ⁓ Okay, so joking aside and to me small group of people, but hey, whatever rocks your boat. think those destination birthdays and things that's I think a topic. They're great because you get people out of the habitat. They're also a big strain on everyone, but then it kind of, you know, matters more. ⁓ Marc Winter (39:13) Fair enough. I think that's part of the point. Like, you know, and I think you to acknowledge it's not something you do all the time, but you know, when you put the strain on, then people really commit, you know? And that's why, you know, all the, with love to, you know, all the vocals kind of left earlier, right? And this thing, because, you know, you know, when you hit the 2 AM wall, the 2.30, there's no reason to push on, you know? And... Paul Fattinger (39:39) It is. Yeah, fair enough. Amazing 40th birthday I had also this year was in skiing on the 30th, know, beginning of January, two days in Lech, 40 people. Marc Winter (40:11) You know, I think we should just dedicate this podcast to all the amazing parties that Paul, the birthday parties that Paul goes. This is a great one. Mark goes on one and it's like, that was a great time. I want to have a podcast party. Paul's like, what the fuck are you talking about? I go to like 10 of these a year. This is standard. Like, all your search for meaning in this is actually pointless because we have this down pat. Hello, you know. Come to Europe anytime. Paul Fattinger (40:17) No, I was just saying, I was just reflecting. That was an amazing part. Exactly. I think this is the best closing remarks. Marc Winter (40:40) Yeah, exactly. Paul Fattinger (40:41) I'm just gonna add you as my plus one in the future. I have a few 50s coming up which I find is quite a... I wouldn't say sad, but it's quite a sign in my life that those are starting. I had also my first 50th birthday party of a Thomas. Not the same Thomas, a different Thomas. My Thomas, one of my Thomas's. Marc Winter (40:44) Yeah, can you please? mean, honestly. No Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (41:02) just a few weeks ago, which was awesome as he did at a sailing club by the lake, started three in the afternoon. No, think, mean, the learning out of this is so crystal clear. The writing's on the wall. It's everywhere. Marc Winter (41:16) Dude, it's just, it's so crystal clear. I just want to state for our audience, mean, there was a reason when we had our wedding here in New York where I insisted having it at my parents' place. Yeah, it was, it was for, it was quite global. But the reason why I threw it at my parents' place, I mean, they have a great property, it's open, nice and open, yeah, is because you can actually go till four or five a.m. Paul Fattinger (41:29) which is also a destination waiting to most people. That was beautiful. Marc Winter (41:46) Unlike because in the states they would close it down at midnight. Yeah, one. Yeah, it's horrible horrible so I should have known that before I even started this topic, but thank you for for In such brutal terms for our American audiences basically saying what the fuck are you talking about? Paul Fattinger (41:48) Many events, ⁓ many locations. You're very welcome. I think it was a great topic. Yeah, we're gonna do a celebrate your milestones the European way agency product and we're gonna plan this out for you guys. No promise party like the guys like us. Exactly sponsored by 28 party like us, party like us. Okay, here we go. That's great. Dude, do you have any idiots or terminates of the week? Marc Winter (42:12) Yeah, can see. exactly. Sponsored by 28. The guys like us. All right. All right. I do. I do. ⁓ Paul Fattinger (42:31) Really, me too actually. I actually thought about Marc Winter (42:34) I do. So actually at this amazing concert I was at today, over the weekend, it's the first time this has happened to me, like some drunk guy pulled the fire alarm and shut down. Right before the band was going to do their encore, and suddenly, you know, the fire department's coming in, the guys are walking in there, like, is there smoke, whatever, everyone had to get off stage. And I guess he was just really drunk and he hit it. you know, I Paul Fattinger (42:45) What? What the fuck? Marc Winter (43:03) I will applaud how calm everyone was given how beautiful the venue was, but I mean, how stupid can you be to like literally break glass and pull on a warm? So that's the idiot of mine. What about you? Paul Fattinger (43:15) Hey, breaking, you know I'm always struggling with the idiot and today I thought I'm just gonna open up the news and see I'm sure I'm gonna find one. Marc Winter (43:28) There are at least five on the front page every day. You know that, right? Exactly. Paul Fattinger (43:30) Exactly. So little did I know, you know, it was very easy. Did you did you read about those about the fact that the Louvre in big, you know, obviously, everyone knows museum was robbed on Sunday morning. Yeah. So those are I mean, the guys are the attorneys of the week, clearly. I mean, it's like out of a movie. The rest of the people involved. I mean, obviously don't look great. Let's put it like this. Marc Winter (43:40) Yes, yes, of course. Of course. Of course. I mean, I mean, honestly, these are like, yeah. No, I mean, sorry, the hilariousness of just pulling up with the truck with the ladder that goes in there. I mean, is this a, is that a Mr. Bean episode or what? Like, I mean, it's really. Paul Fattinger (43:59) Yeah, it's like in a fucking movie. Yeah. No, it's like in this. What was this Netflix series with this super, super thief? Or whatever, but you know, yeah, Le Pain. Yeah, Le Pain. It's almost like they probably told everyone, hey guys, we're just shooting for the movie. Don't worry about it. Then they walked in, seven minutes later, they walk out with these crown jewels. So that's clearly, I mean, that's very easy. Marc Winter (44:11) ⁓ Lupin! ⁓ Paul Fattinger (44:28) That was an easy find. Now I know how if I made it of the week. Marc Winter (44:29) Good. There you go. Yeah, it's either in the mirror and the newspaper you'll find. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Fattinger (44:34) Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the mirror is easy. I can go weekly on that. I mean, I was I I was thinking of renaming the segment of the idiotic thing of the week that I did. Yeah. Yeah. Which could be another episode, actually. Yeah. Thank you. Terminator. Marc Winter (44:44) I did. That's another thing. Actually, I would happily contribute to that. ⁓ Mine are, you know, I went to the no Kings protest with the kids and my wife and on Saturday and, you know, cheers to the organizers of that. They're amazing. And it was really ⁓ peaceful. The signs were funny as hell. ⁓ Paul Fattinger (45:12) I'm sure. Marc Winter (45:13) you know, think meaningful in the sense of I don't know whose time square was packed. And, you know, you get you get get a the whole thing was a was a really friendly what's called safe vibe. And essential one. And so congrats to all those who pulled it off. It was a lot of fun. I felt safe with the kids. ⁓ Felix wanted to know like, who are all the guys dressed in moneybags, balloons and you know, ⁓ Paul Fattinger (45:42) Yeah, interesting. It's interesting. I'm going to take you. Yeah, my, my, I don't know if I should have said I had this idiot once in a week that pulled out my windscreen wiper of my Tesla. So now this is my contraint. Yeah. So, and my terminal of the week is the guy to have a mobile service team. So you don't have to go to a shop. They just come by, fix your shit. Yeah. It's fucking awesome. It's like you schedule it on your app. mean, it's like. Marc Winter (45:54) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No way. Amazing. I love it. Paul Fattinger (46:10) A dude comes in his Tesla, he's like, hey, what's up? fixes the thing, goes his ways. It's all booked off your credit card. So I mean, it's pretty fucking cool. I have to admit, it's my Terminator of the Week. The other ones was Max Verstappen in Austin, which is also everyone is my Terminator who is doing these memes. My Instagram feed is full of them on him hunting down the McLaren boys, which is hilarious and always with his own song in the background. Marc Winter (46:21) That's cool. Wow. Wow. That is. Amazing. Paul Fattinger (46:39) So I mean, this is basically all I watch all day is fantastic. It's super fun. Yeah, yeah. Made my weekend. Marc Winter (46:43) Yeah, well, good formula one and getting your Tesla Tesla wiper replaced, you know, yeah, these are the champagne problems we love to talk about. All right. Well, on that note, great to see you as always. And talk soon. Bye. Paul Fattinger (46:52) Fix, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, I mean, I never said I was deep. Like I am, I I think I proved today, you know, I can be as shallow as a little puddle. As always, ciao.